Yep, Carlos Tevez is back and has announced his return to Manchester City with typical gratitude by saying he was treated "like a dog".
After months on the sidelines doing God knows what, everyone's favourite poster-boy is back. He has sulked, shrugged and sat his way through this season as his team-mates have swept aside pretty much all before them in the Premier League. So why does he want in now? And how could he be allowed back?
I specialise in simple answers, so I'm going to give them. Tevez wants a return because it his simply in his character. The man craves the limelight, sometimes to the detriment of both his team and himself. There is no doubt that on the field, the boy from Buenos Ares possesses boundless enthusiasm, a willingness to bleed for his team and no little talent. But to me, he is, and always will be, a mercenary; a talent available to the highest bidder, with a combustible character which can be seen as either a trade-off or a curse.
At his previous club Manchester United, he went from idol to criminal when he first disrespected Sir Alex Ferguson by trying to play him off against his fans and second when he moved to City, a move he claims had nothing to do with money. Within days, his arrival was seized upon as an opportunity for propaganda as the inter-Manchester rivalry turned from mismatched to mischievous to malevolent.
After joining City, his troubles seemed to be behind him as his commitment, goal-scoring and most importantly, his ability to wind up United served to endear him greatly to the fans at the City of Manchester/Eastlands/the Etihad/the gentleman at the back/oil money stadium. Then the issue of his new contract came up. Suddenly, City realised they had bitten off more than they could chew when Tevez, temperamental at the best of times and a %+#?! at the worst, made it perfectly clear that he wished to leave City, first slamming Manchester's weather, it's attractions and then it's food. TOO FAR CARLOS, TOO FAR. The Nando's in Manchester are among the best around and it's Subway?! To die for!
And so it seemed Tevez was on his way again, either to be closer to the family he appears to visit twice a week (think of the air miles), to be near the sun, or to avoid the nastiest thing of professionalism - training. Aww poor Carlos, having to do all that running in the cold for measly pay (that was sarcastic, but as I rarely do the most basic research, I do not know what he is paid, but I bet it is enough to pay for some self-help/karate/firework safety classes for Mario Balotelli many times over). However, it soon became apparent that Tevez had become a poison at nearly all the clubs he had played for. Despite his abilities, other clubs decided it would be a shot in the foot as brutal as the burn on Tevez's neck. Just like me considering whether I should delete that last line, Tevez was stuck.
But still City forgave him as manager Roberto Mancini - a man with a backbone as strong as the England cricket teams middle order - moved on once again. Then came what appeared to be the final straw when Tevez (I swear to God, I'm not saying allegedly again) refused to warm up in a Champions League game against Bayern Munich. If true (which it definitely is), Tevez had to go. And so it seemed he would when hesuffered the ignominy of training with the City reserves, a team costing less than £100 million. However, when Europe's top clubs still refused to come for him, City were left with an ugly sight (no comment), so they have now decided to draw a line in the sand under the matter. Bear in mind that this sand now has as many lines in it as Silvio Berlusconi's sex face.
So it appears that Tevez is going to have a (fifth) last chance at Manchester City. Whether he will be trusted to play is one thing, whether he de-rails City's great season is quite another. In simple terms (my favourite), Tevez will bring another talented pair of legs to a squad which may now be starting to feel the pace, but if his re-emergence antagonises the other ego's in City's team, things could slowly turn ugly for the boys in blue. In my opinion, it is quite ironic that Tevez likened himself to a dog after all of this, when he clearly has Mancini and everyone else at the club on a lead.
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